Dragging Myself into the Light

I’m still here, still sober…and still overwhelmed. Well, I’m less overwhelmed now because we have our winter break coming up. I should already be on vacation, but our school system is making up for days lost due to Hurricane Matthew. It’s okay–my students and I can make it through two more days.

I think because I see a break coming up, I’m willing to get back on WordPress and interact (at least on social media…I have a spotty record at best when it comes to real life interactions).

I started seeing a new therapist whom I like very much, and now I have a psychiatrist managing my medication for anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. It’s not difficult for me to go to therapy or to see my psychiatrist…but it’s hard as hell to talk to other people in person. I can’t use that awkwardness to avoid socializing. I have to remind myself, as silly as it may sound to some, I’m a human being. Due to basic biological programming, I need people. I have my wife and children, of course, but I need to be part of a bigger tribe. Otherwise, I get trapped in my head, and that can be bad despite my effective medication.

My sobriety is in a good place. I think about drinking at least once or twice a day, but the thoughts are passing. If I’m at the store and pass a bottle wine, I might think Man, it would be nice to drink that like a non-alcoholic person.  And then I move on.

I hope this post finds everyone well. Happy sober Sunday.

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5 thoughts on “Dragging Myself into the Light

  1. I find myself sill thinking that when I see any alcohol. It’s not difficult to respond the same way you do. I’m hopeful it will always continue to be a fleeting thought. 🙂 Hope you are enjoying your break!

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  2. I need to clarify: it’s not hard for me to respond the way you did at this point in my life. Hopefully it stays that way but there are days where I have to fight it a little. I reread what I wrote and thought my original comment made it seem I made light of your experience 🙂 Sorry bout that.

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